The Paths We Walk

It has been several months since my last post. I became very busy and in the grand scheme of all that was happening, this blog was the one thing that I could let go until the time became right for it again. I guess that time is now.

Back in March I was studying the mysteries of the Goddess. Since then, I have dedicated to Hecate for the remainder of this turn of the Wheel of the Year, until Imbolc. She has led me to a new path of learning. I am no longer taking the Goddess class from my Temple as part of their Second Degree tradition. I have instead joined a smaller group and started my training anew. I know this is the right path for me at this time.

Hecate has forced me to focus on my family again. I hate to admit it, but my responsibilities to my family got streamlined when I became focused on picking up the broom again. I was financially supportive and emotionally supportive when I was there. But I did not give the time to my family that they deserve. I take responsibility for my actions of neglect. Thank you, Hecate, for reminding me what is truly important and for providing a means to allow me to correct this imbalance.

I have been struggling lately. My husband and I celebrate today. We have been together in a committed relationship as life partners for fourteen years. Together we face the ups and downs of his mental disorder. He suffers from Bi-polar Schizophrenia. At times I just want to scream and go running off to some distant location to escape. Yet I know this solves nothing and leaves me without the one I love. It is a struggle some days and a blessing on others. We have our ups and down like anyone else. And that is what keeps me going. We all have triumphs and failures, hard times and celebrations. Each is unique to the couple experiencing them. But together we can face anything and experience the joys that life is truly about. This is why family must come first. Not just providing financially for them but giving the time, energy, and love they deserve.

We have just completed an episode of severe depression. This episode required two separate stays at a treatment center. The recent suicide of a celebrity nearly caused a third stay. He is doing better today. And we will remember to laugh, cry, and keep loving one another so that we can make it through one day at a time.

My spiritual training has started back over from square one. In speaking with other local Wiccans, I discovered that my first year of training lacked what I consider a great deal of information. But my new class is catching me up quite quickly. My teachers seem to be dedicated to guiding me and teaching me. My previous teacher became to busy or perhaps stretched to thin to teach me in a manner I felt was appropriate. I began to feel as though my learning was no longer important to my teacher. I put no blame on anyone. My previous teacher is a wonderful teacher and an inspiration to many. She has worked tirelessly and given generously to better the community of Wicca. My path simply veered in a new direction to meet my needs.

If you feel your needs are not being met by the situation you are in, it is up to you to change the situation. This does not have to be done through dramatics or by upheaval. Changing your path does not mean you are no longer friends with those you walked with. It does not mean those you called teachers have stopped being so. We all walk our own path. Our paths conjoin with others along the way. Sometimes this is for a short walk; other times it is for long walks. Those that are important to walk with will be there and your paths shall cross many times if your paths diverge. Trust in the Gods to guide you along the path that is right for you. But remember They only guide. You must choose which path you will walk.

Blessed Be.

Gaia, the Primordial Mother

Earth, holy mother, source of nature,
you feed us while we live, hold us when we die.

Everything comes from you, everything returns to you.
What else could we call you but Our Mother?

Even the gods call you that. Without you
there is nothing. Nothing can thrive, nothing can live

without your power. Queen and goddess, I invoke you:
you are all-powerful and my needs are so small.

Give me what I ask and in exchange,I will give you
my thanks, sincere and from my deepest heart.

–Taken from The Goddess Path by Patricia Monaghan

Today has been a very emotional day. At 2:30 this morning my husband and I had to make the difficult decision to put our nearly fourteen year old Boston Terrier to sleep. He was diagnosed with a thyroid condition and diabetes three years ago. Up until the past week his health has been very good once diagnosed and treatment began. For the past month his arthritis has made it too difficult for him to climb and occasionally his legs would get weak and he would stumble. This past week his ailments worsened to a point that significantly lowered his quality of life. We had decided to put him down at our normal vet’s office on Monday or Tuesday. Early this morning he began having seizures every fifteen to twenty minutes. We couldn’t wait any longer. We took him to the emergency animal hospital and relieved his suffering. This morning we buried him next to his wife in our backyard.  As I dug his burial spot, I called to the Goddess. She blessed me with a song to sing as we buried him.

R.I.P. Moses “Moe”

Mother, now
take this soul
take him now
to the home he knows.

We studied Gaia in class tonight. We learned of her aspects of mother and crone. We also learned of her as the void or nothingness from which all was created; “in the beginning there was the void.” Gaia’s lesson is that of abundance. Mainly to recognize how abundant our lives are and to share our abundance with others.

Today I take stock of my abundance. Gaia has blessed me with the love of two four-legged sons and a daughter. Gaia has blessed me with the love of a husband, a home, a job, food on my table, a temple and the wonderful loving family of friends. I truly have more than I could list. I was also blessed this weekend to take part in a 1920’s themed handfasting of two of the best people I know. I pray Gaia makes their life together abundant in love, joy, and happiness. How is your life abundant? How has the goddess provided for you and continues to provide for you? Have you thanked Gaia today?

Blessed Be!

Demeter

Imagine this: the maiden goddess playing in a flowery meadow, together with the full-bodied daughters of the ocean. They were gathering flowers: just-open roses, crocuses, and dark violets from the soft grass,
and lilies and hyacinths.

And then they saw a new flower, voluptuous and fragrant.

It was narcissus, that wonder, sending forth a hundred blooms from a single bulb, making the very earth laugh with delight at its heady fragrance–the earth, and the blue sky also, and the ocean water, all amazed and laughing at this new creature, this marvel of a flower,                                                                   which the goddess reached out her hand to pick.
–Homeric hymn to Demeter

 

If we study the hymns, poems, and art of the goddess she will tell us the best ways to commune with her. From this hymn we learn that Demeter is not just a “mother” goddess but also a “maiden” goddess. We can infer that the daughters of the ocean are “the earth, and the blue sky also, and the ocean water”. Although these may be separate entities. Flowers associated to this goddess are roses, crocuses, dark violets, lilies, hyacinths, and narcissus.

In addition to The Goddess Companion, we are also reading The Goddess Path also by Patricia Monaghan. In it she addresses the idea of “Mother, Maiden, Crone” aspects of the Goddess stating that this concept may leave out a crucial aspect of goddess many of us look for in our search for goddess; the lover goddess. Goddesses like Aphrodite and Hathor do not readily fit in to the aspects of maiden, mother, crone. At least not in the concepts that many know these labels. How I see it is that the maiden goddess aspect is most often seen as a virgin, innocent in matters of physical love. But I do not agree with this idea. I see the maiden goddess as unmarried but not sexually innocent. She knows love. Yet there are maidens that have no interest in romantic love. They are independent and self-reliant. So, maybe there is a need for an additional aspect. Adding the new aspect of lover goddess, the maiden aspect is divided, the remaining aspect being that of daughter. This makes a great deal of sense to me. However, I am dedicated to Brigid. She is known as a triple goddess (earth, sky, and sea or the three realms of Celtic tradition). My understanding of Brigid makes her all of the aspects of goddess. She is daughter of the Dagda. She is lover of Bress. She is mother of Ruadan. She is a queen (wise woman) of the Tautha de Danann. My experience with goddess is limited. I see I have learning to do by working with goddesses that do not fit in to this all-encompassing aspect. But I wonder if all goddesses do not fit. since Demeter too seems to fit.  Will I find that all goddesses are all-encompassing. Or will I find that only few goddesses are triple aspect.

The days grow closer that I must choose a goddess I have never worked with before to dedicate to (work with) for a year. Gathering the list has been difficult. Brigid reminds me of my dedication to her. Although she has agreed to allow me work with a goddess of her choosing for the purpose of spiritual growth. I agreed to mark myself with a permanent reminder of my dedication to Brigid. So below is my new tattoo. I felt barely any pain during the four hours in the artist’s chair. I spent most of the time dancing with Brigid around the room. I hope you have enjoyed my post today. Blessed Be.

And by the way! We are having a May Day Festival in the Memphis, TN area. If you are down this way come celebrate with us. Check out the link to see our event page on Facebook.

Fate

There are three women, wisest in the world.
They live beneath a vast spreading ash tree.
One is Urth, the second Verthandi, and the third
is called Skuld, the elf queen. They are the future and the past, they are the present with its potential
and its history. They are fate, they are fortune,
they are the laws of cause and consequence.
Our lives are bounded by these laws. Your fate,
my fate, the fate of nations–all are in their hands.

–Scandinavian Poetic Edda

 

The goddess has a plan for me, one to which I am bound, one to which is bounded to the fate of the whole of the universe. If I work against this plan I shall know the consequences of my actions. Life may be difficult at times but working against your fate makes it even more so. Find you path and walk it. Know the goddess and find your happy. What does your fate have in store for you? Do you know what the goddess has planned? Where are you being guided?

 

Abundant Life

http://www.jonathonart.com/kau3.html

Happily may I walk.
Happily, with abundance, may I walk.
Happily, with abundant clouds, may I walk.
Happily, with abundant rain, may I walk.
Happily, with abundant plants, may I walk.
Happily, on a trail of abundant pollen, may I walk.
Happily may I walk.

–Hopi night chant

Happiness is goddess energy. Live in happiness and you will live with the goddess. Even in times of great strife walk in happiness with the goddess. Even when the skies seem to be falling, walk in happiness and live with the goddess. Walk in the forests and find happiness, find goddess. The goddess provides and sustains us. Walk with her and you will find abundant happiness. That feeling of happiness you get when you realize just how abundant your life is….that is the feeling of goddess.

New Perspective

The flood receded, leaving swamps
where life emerged anew like seeds
sprouting in a mother’s womb.
It was just like spring, when peasants
overturn the soil to find a world
of creatures there, as though the earth
itself crept and wriggled and was alive.
Life begins in heat and water,
those apparent opposites that stir
creation. Thus the sun, rising on
the flooded earth, brought forth new life.

—Ovid, Metamorphoses

We had our first class of Second degree this evening. I must say I gained a whole new perspective on how to look at things. Needless to say I have a great deal of books I need to re-read. I think I may have missed some things. I would like to share with you all the insights I received and lessons I learned tonight, but those are secrets of tradition you must learn on your own. If I simply told you here you would not learn them in a meaningful way. What I can tell you is to pay attention when you are searching. She is guiding you and the great poets all knew her.

I do apologize for not posting daily as I had started out to do. My family has been dealing with some private issues that have kept me occupied and somewhat drained. My promise now is to post often, as often as I can. I hope this blog grows with me. For now it will be a devotional along my path during my year learning the goddess. I hope you enjoy traveling with me.

And if you happen to be in the Memphis, TN area around May 9 – 11, you may want to check out May Day festival.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day

I just love this portrayal!

The golden one has left us, gone to her island, gone to her temple there, gone to her shrine with its incensed altar. She has left us behind and closed the door. If we could see her now how beautiful she would be: imagine her there, the Graces bathing her – those lovely handmaids – and oiling her with fragrant sweetness, covering every curve of her beautiful body with sacredness and the green scent of olives, and dressing her in filmy silken robes, and roping her neck with golden chains, dropping gold from her ears, ringing her fingers with gold. She is laughing. How our darling loves to laugh! And now look! She is leaving her temple again, coming back to bring us more joyous trouble, laughing and laughing, cutting a path right through the stars.

-Homeric hymn to Aphrodite

When love and human connection are absent from our lives, we feel impoverished and dry. Life seems less than full. Our senses seem dulled. The world seems to lack the lively spark of life, to be less beautiful and less compelling. It is as though we are in a desert, where the water of life seems to have retreated under harsh sand.

The force of love, which the Greeks represented with the magnificent figure of Aphrodite, transforms us and the world at the same time. It need not be an intimate partnership, for friendship and family bonds are also forms of love that sustain and enliven us. But to live without intimacy is to live in a desert of the heart. Opening to others entails risk—the risk of being hurt—but unless we take that risk, we do not truly live.

–The Goddess Companion

This hymn speaks to me today because my husband has gone away for a short time due to medical reasons. He is doing well and will return home soon, but we have to unfortunately be apart this Valentine’s Day. Happy V Day!

Virgin Mary Brigid

Blessed Virgin Mary

You are the glory of the city,
you are the joy of the nation,
you are the honor of the people.

You are all-beautiful mother,
you are unstained and lovely,
you alone were born without fault.

You are the happiest of all mothers
and the most worthy of praise,
virgin, mother, queen, O Mary.

~Traditional prayer to the Virgin Mary

At the small town of Lourdes in the southern mountains of France, in 1858, a shining woman appeared eighteen times to a small girl named Bernadette. The woman never named herself as Mary, the mother of Jesus, and Bernadette herself referred to her as “the Lady” or simply “She”. Only later did the girl accept the identification of her Lady with the archetypal mother of god.
Today is the day when the contemporary church celebrates the vision of Bernadette. We can partake in this celebration by holding in our own hearts an image of a powerful and helpful mother figure, one who is unstained by the negativity of our culture toward the feminine principle. The Virgin Mother who appeared at Lourdes has healed thousands. We too can feel the healing energy of the feminine as we turn our hearts toward her.

—The Goddess Companion

Brigid Mother Goddess

The Great Mother of God, and of the people. I grew up learning just enough about Mary to know she was a virgin mother of Jesus and was there to see him crucified. I am sure I have forgotten a large amount of what I learned about her. Since my pagan path began, I learned of her as the Universal Mother and how strong she had to have been to be a pregnant teenage girl seemingly suffering from delusions about seeing an angel and God being the father. Today, I know her as an aspect of Brigid who is an aspect of Danu the Mother of the Celtic People. Her compassion for people mimics that of Kuan Yin. Her biblical story inspires strength, courage, and honor. The goddess Brigid, when transformed into a saint, is said to have been Mary’s midwife. It is my feeling that Mary was Brigid, the Mary of the Gaels. Brigid is my patron goddess. She has been with me, guiding me, teaching me since I began my path 25 years ago. She appeared quite similar to the pictures of Mary to me only her clothing was green and gold and her hair fiery red. The first time she appeared to me she walked out of a candle flame like a woman made of fire until the flames receded. Like Mary she did her duty and saved a nation. Brigid married Bress to unite the two tribes. Brigid is known as the goddess of healing and of physicians. Mary, as noted above, is known for her compassion and healing abilities. Like Mary, Brigid lost her first born son, Ruadan. Her wailing is said to be the first heard Ireland. It is said her lamenting was not only for her son but for the people. This event is noted as the time familial ties shifted from being maternal to paternal. It was also seen as the beginning of the end of the ways of the Tuatha De Dannan. Thus the act against maternal kinship became Ireland’s story of original sin as opposed to sexuality which was seen as sacred and life bringing.

When I read this prayer I am overcome by a vision of Danu saying it to Brigid after her marriage to Bress while she is pregnant with Ruadan.

I’m Special!

Hathor

I send up a prayer to my goddess Hathor.
I beg her to give me the one I desire.
When we are lovers, we will thank her.
Joyfully, we will thank her.
And my beloved will cry out to me:
Lover, lover, lover, in the whole vast world,
I am the one destined for you by the goddess.

–Egyptian prayer to Hathor

The goddess intends you to be loved. You are splendid and unique. You are a new creation. In all of human history, no person exactly like you has ever lived and breathed. Every cell of your body, every pattern in your thoughtful mind, is a new part of this universe. How can you ever doubt that you deserve much, much love?
And how could you ever doubt that you were meant to give love? Each person you meet is, like you, a worthy singularity. The goddess intends you to love. Meet each with love, and accept nothing less in return. Loving yourself as a irreplaceable part of the universe, you can then meet others with the same spirit. And then, from this myriad of shining possibilities, a lover will emerge to charm and delight you.
Love is a gift. It is also your birthright. In the name of the goddess, reach out and claim it.

—The Goddess Companion

I probably would have used this prayer at one time in my life had I known it. This devotional reminds me that in order to claim our birthright of love we must give love, not only to one another but to ourselves. We must be willing to accept love as it comes to us and appreciate it from no matter who it comes from. I am special and deserve to be loved fully just as I am. So are you. So is everyone. If I deserve it, I must give it to those who deserve it as well just for being them. I must love everyone. We deserve it.

The Compassionate Goddess

If I were adrift upon the ocean
with demons and dragons all around,
I would think of sweet Kuan-Yin
and the hungry waters would subside.

Kuan Yin

If I were trapped within a furnace
as hot as hell’s own blazes,
I would think of Kuan-Yin’s power,
and the flames would turn to water.

If enemies pursued me, if I were thrown
from a high mountain peak, if knives
were raised against me, if I were imprisoned
or beset by beasts, I would call on her.

Her pity shields me from the lightning.
Her compassion is like a cloud around me,
which rains down sweetness and
puts out the fires of my sorrow.

– Chinese prayer to Kuan-Yin